Feeling like Icarus

Listening to Jimmy's wonderful album Fruitcakes this afternoon I heard some familiar lyrics which pretty much sum up my life right now:
"We sail from the Port of Indecision
Young and wild with oh so much to learn
Days turn into years as we try to fool our fears
But to the Port of Indecision I return."

Class rankings came out the other day. Suffice it to say I'm not high enough to be in any of the sections they publish. This brought on a whole new attack of insecurity, as if the meltdowns following finals and then the release of grades weren't enough. I still feel like I don't belong in law school. Surely other people must feel like this? Mostly I'm afraid of not getting a job I can be happy doing because of my grades, which are unimpressive (at best) because I'm pretty much abysmal at law school exams. This indecision JB sums up so well is why I'm in hiding in Maine with my parents rather than doing something productive or legal related back home. (well, also I'm broke) Do I take a year off? Do I scrap law school altogether? I was never someone who passionately wanted to be a lawyer. (My right brain doesn't like this option, because I have LOTS of loans already). Do I keep plugging along, at the bottom looking up? I just don't know.

I know how Icarus felt. The wax has melted and those wings that carried me so high for so long have shredded and I'm freefalling. Not in an open-souled, Tom Petty kind of way, either. The question is, do I patch together another pair of wings, or do I find a different, more earthbound, pursuit? Right now, my anchor's dropped in the Port of Indecision with no sign of a tide change.